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I spent most of college

studying

                  reading

                                  writing

                                                  poetry

and all I have to show for it

is this page

and I’m watching Casino Royale

on my laptop, in bed

with a glass of pinot noir


and I swear I wasn’t thinking of you but

there’s that scene where Bond tells Vesper

"your beauty is a problem"

because people won’t take her seriously


and I thought of you

not because I was thinking of you

but if you remember the last time

you invited yourself over


how we talked

about our world

about our society

about our families


about our deepest insecurities

about love

and you said something

to that same effect


anyway I wasn’t thinking of you

it just reminded me of when

you said you met someone

that you're in love


and that you can talk

about the world

about family

about love


while I sit with a glass of pinot noir

in bed, on my laptop

watching Casino Royale

on a Monday night


not thinking of you

I inhale your memory

every chance that I get

but the scent gets thinner and thinner


like an ancient statue

depraved of its nose

wholly unwhole

as a child

nothing was more impressive to me

than my mother’s ability

to remove the pit of an avocado


she would neatly slice one open, then

HACK!

TWIST

TOSS

in one fell swoop


and after seeing that

you could not convince me

she wasn’t a superhero

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